Compassion for Others  We know it is easy to judge what is not understood. In group, youth may hear the stories of others that will put a personal face on something or someone they may have previously judged. They can learn to put themselves in the shoes of another and experience feelings from that perspective. As their walls of judgment come down, their empathy grows. Work in these areas helps youth answer the following questions: - What does it feel like to be that person?
- How would I feel in that situation?
- If I were that person, what would help me feel supported?
Interpersonal Skill 
Students with disabilities can be either too passive or too aggressive, both of which can lead to rejection from their peers. That rejection leads to social isolation and loneliness (Margalit & Levin-Alyagon, 1994). Group provides them an opportunity to learn and try out effective interpersonal skills in a low-risk environment. As previously noted, youth learn interpersonal skills by observing the behaviors of others and their consequences. In turn, as youth incorporate new behaviors into their own repertoires, they learn to calibrate them according to the responses they receive. As youth seek independence from their families, they assume affiliation with the group, moving from strangers to group members. They learn to be interdependent. Together, they learn the skills necessary to build enduring healthy relationships. Specific skills include the ability to: - Communicate effectively by listening first and waiting for a pause in the conversation before speaking
- Encourage others
- Collaborate with others to achieve a goal
- Respect differing views and express opinions politely
- Appropriately self-disclose, receive and offer feedback
- Be trustworthy, maintaining confidences (not gossiping)
Trust As predicted by human development models, youth must reconcile the struggle to be independent while still seeking acceptance and validation. This can be confusing, and they may experience frustration that shows up in angry outbursts. From this place, they may question authority by questioning the agreed-upon expectations and rules, testing the facilitator's commitment to the group. This is the counselor's opportunity to model healthy communication by 1) acknowledging group members' feelings and 2) clarifying the reason for the rules but not changing them. Understanding that they have the right to assert themselves without being penalized establishes trust in the group and the process. Work in these areas helps youth answer the following questions:  - What behaviors or attitudes draw me to other people? What behaviors repel me?
- What behaviors draw people to me? What behaviors push people away from me?
- How do I admit when I'm wrong and graciously accept an apology when somebody wrongs me?
- How do I work with others to accomplish a goal?
- How do I share my feelings with others?
- How do I stand up for myself with others?
- Who do I trust?
- Who can I ask for help?
Margalit, M., & Levin-Alyagon, M. (1994). Learning disability subtyping, loneliness, and classroom adjustment. Learning Disability Quarterly, 17, 297-310 |